THE IGBO TRADITIONAL MARRIAGE(IGBA NKWU)
The Igbos are the predominant occupants of South-Eastern
part of Nigeria. They occupy states like Abia, Enugu, Ebonyi, Imo, Anambra, and
some parts of Delta state. The Igbo traditional marriage rites varries
according to community but they
have a lot of similarities too.
The Igbo culture does not recognize the modern type of
proposal where the man kneels to propose to his girlfriend. Before a man and a
woman are pronounced as husband and wife, there are some process involved
according to the native law and custom known as “Igba nkwu nwanyi” (The wine
carrying ceremony).
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| Igbo Traditional Marriage Items |
THE TRADITIONAL IGBO MARRIAGE PROCEDURES
Courtship
When a man sees an Igbo lady and developed feelings for
her, the usual practice is for him to approach her with his feelings. When she
accepts, they get to know each other better, and set a foundation for their
relationship before involving their families. The courtship period will give
the man the opportunity of knowing the origin of the girl, and some of their traditions.
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| Igbo Bride and Groom |
However, the man’ s family may choose a girl they like
and arrange the marriage on his behalf.
The Knock (Iku Aka N’uzu)
This is the first step in Igbo traditional marriage. The
groom visits the bride’s family and informs them of his intention to marry
their daughter and his wish to bring his family to see them. On the agreed
date, both families meet for the first time at the bride’s home.
The groom’s parents, elders, and few family members will
accompany the groom along with some alcoholic drinks to the bride home. While
the bride’s parents along with a few family members prepare and wait for their
potential new in-laws to arrive.
When the guests arrive, the bride’s family welcomes and
present them with Kola-nut (the officially Igbo welcome gesture). The groom’s
father does the talking; he introduces himself to the bride’s parents or
guardian and explains the purpose of his visit, he officially announces his
son’s interest in marrying their daughter. The bride-to-be is then called out
by her parents and asked if she knows her suitor and whether she would want to
marry him. Her response then determines if they would proceed to the next step.
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| Beautiful Igbo Bride |
The Investigation (Iju Ajuju)
After the first visit, both families starts investigation
on the family historical background, health status, and the behavior of the
bride or groom to be. they also make enquiries about the family whether they
have any peculiar hereditary ailments or are from the outcast system
The groom starts his investigation before proposing
engagement, and before the first family introduction visit. While the bride’s
family usually start theirs after the
first introduction visit of the groom and his family. The outcome of the family
background investigation can affect and determine the next step in the marriage
process. Also, it’s customary either family can stop delay the marriage process
at this stage because of their investigation findings.
The Introduction
The next meeting will be between the groom’s family (they
can be as much as 20 people) and the bride’s extended family popularly known as
Umunna. This meeting is important because the groom’s people have to restate
their interest in marrying from their family, they first have to give the groom
their consent and the bride gives the final consent, dates for the traditional
wedding will be set and bride price list will be sent out. Most times, the list
is gotten after conferring with the family elders. In circumstances where the
girl comes from a royal or highly respected family, the Eze or chief compiles
the list.
Before the list is given to the man’s family, a bottle of
hot drink is given to the eldest man of the lady’s family. A sum ranging from
N1000 to N2000 is given to the secretary who is usually member of the girl’s
family. The secretary will go through the list and then give the man’s family a
copy.
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| Igbo Traditional Introduction |
Details Of The List
The father of the girl has his own part in the list that
must be fulfilled. These items must be bought according to how they appear on
the list.
Walking stick
Traditional cap
Native dress that has been sewn
Pair of shoes
N20,000 to N30,000 cash depending on the family
Mother’s part
The bride’s mother also has items to be bought for her on
the list. These include:
1 big basin
1 big covered basin
1 George wrapper
2 Abada (Ordinary wrapper popularly called Hollandis)
3 blouses which have been sewn
A Set of earrings and necklace
Wrist watch
Handbag
3 big head ties
Pair of shoes
20 tubers of yam
2 big stock fishes
1 bag of rice
1 bag of salt
Carton of tin tomatoes
20 liters of Tin groundnut oil
N2,000 to N5,000 cash
Umunna (men)
After settling the list for the father and mother, next
you get to the list for Umunna. Their list also contains items that must
be bought and presented to them before the marriage rites are approved.
Head of tobacco
A roll of cigarette
Potash
20 gallons of palm wine
4 cartons of beer
4 cartons of maltina
6 bottles of Hot drink
Goat
N10,000 cash
Umuada (women)
The women’s group is not left out. They have their own
list which must be fulfilled.
20 tubers of yam
1 tin of 20 litres kerosene
1 bag of salt
1 carton of bar soap
1 carton of Lux soap
4 big containers of talcum powder
N10,000 cash
Some of the above listed items can be monetized by the
groom in agreement with the girl’s family to make it convenient for them in
cases where the location of the ceremony is a bit far. After settling the
father, mother, Umunna (men) and Umuada (women), the next
and crucial stage is the payment of dowry which is regarded as bride price.
This is not done outside, but inside the room. The man and two members of his
family will go inside to meet his father in-law and discuss the bride price
(dowry).
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| Igbo Traditional Items |
Bride Price Negotiation And Payment ( Ime
Ego)
The money paid for the bride price is significantly small
and can go for as low as N30, it isn’t an indication of the bride’s worth. The
extra gifts to be brought make up the larger part of the bride price. The
groom’s family then presents all they’ve bought to the bride’s family on an
agreed date or on the day of the wine-carrying ceremony.
Ime ego can be a hectic process between both families with a lot of begging from the groom’s side and a lot of bragging from the bride’s side. The bride’s family starts to list their daughter’s accomplishments and what the groom-to-be will gain by marrying her. There are going to be lots of back and forth between both families till a set amount is reached.
The Traditional Wedding Ceremony
In Igbo culture, the traditional wedding is called Igba
Nkwu Nwanyi which translates to
“Wine-carrying ceremony”. It’s the most crucial part of the wedding process,
where the bride carries the wine from her father to look for her groom in the
crowd. When she finds him, she kneels and offers him the drink, he then take a
sip and help lift her up. The ceremony is done at the bride’s home and her
family prepares a large feast.
The Traditional wedding ceremony is an open event and the
only part of the Igbo marriage process the public can attend at the bride’s
family home along with both families, friends, and well-wishers in attendance
to witness the union of the couple. They hire a live band and dancers to
entertain their guests.
Usually, the bride-to-be is dressed in the traditional
Igbo wedding attire which include a blouse, a double wrapper, a red coral bead
necklace and a big head tie known as ‘Ichafu’ or a bead round her head.
The groom is expected to be accompanied by a larger party
this time (friends included) and bring along with him the bride price list. He
must present the list along with the required gifts to the Umunna before the
ceremony begins.
In some Igbo communities, the traditional wedding
ceremony is more important than the civil wedding or religious wedding, which
is more western in style. For some couples, once they complete their
traditional marriage ceremony, they may decide to have a civil wedding or
church/religious wedding for legal reasons with the government or not.
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| Bride ana Friends |
THE FINAL STEP (IDU UNO)
Idu Uno comes immediately after Igba Nkwu, at this stage;
the bride visits the groom’s home for the first time and she goes along with a
maiden or her sister who isn’t married to keep her company.
Before she begins her journey, the bride’s family gifts
her with items she’ll need to start her new home, these include cooking
utensils, bed-sheets, suitcases, boxes, sewing machine, bed, pillowcases,
plates, clothes and other essential things she’ll need to begin their new life
together. The bride’s sister or family can go back home after a few days to
give feedback to her people.
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| Igbo Bride Celebrating |
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| Igbo Beautiful Bride |